The thing about attending Quaker Meeting is the promise that God speaks, and that in each of us is the capacity to hear a message and also to deliver it to the community. And today almost as soon as I sat down, I was given a message about responding to the season of darkness that we are living in. Below is that message, not exactly as it came out, but I think the essential points.

I am afraid. I am sad and afraid and aware of terrible things happening and possibly happening in the world, and I feel entirely inadequate to them. I know through my experience and the wisdom of others that hope is a verb, and that the grace of God is a gift freely given, but also often given through the words and actions and ministry of those who are determined to act in service of their faith. That knowledge does not guide me in my response to the violence and climate disasters and famine all around me. I am afraid and I feel inadequate.

But I was reminded, forcefully, today of something that does happen, and certainly is going to happen in the future. I am going to be asked to lie, in specific and predictable ways. I am going to be asked to lie by people and systems who do not want to confront the world we live in. And so I prayed then and pray now for the strength when I am asked to lie to instead speak the truth.

I am going to be asked to lie and say that what’s happening is not that bad. That war is just a “limited incursion”, that state violence is targeted and justified, that an ongoing series of escalating climate catastrophes are jsut the isolated natural disasters we’ve always experienced.

If I refuse to concede that actually nothing’s wrong, I’m going to be asked to say that the suffering is deserved. That people who live under some political regimes deserve what they get, that violence in response to violence is justified. That it’s OK for some people to suffer.

After that, I will be asked to concede my own helplessness. I will be asked to believe that cycles of violence are just “who we are” and cannot be broken. That climate catastrophe is inevitable and cannot be avoided or mitigated, that pandemics cannot be stopped, and that I am so small that I shouldn’t try.

I will also be asked to believe that through my own wisdom and resources, I can keep myself and my loved ones safe. I will be asked to laugh along with Ronald Reagan’s press secretary when rumors of the AIDS epidemic were just beginning and say “well, since I’m not gay I have nothing to worry about”. I will be asked to deny that “there but for the grace of God” applies to me, and to believe that I should not show solidarity with others because I will not need it myself.

I pray for the strength to deny these lies. To assert that actually the suffering in this world is vast and terrible, that no one deserves to be bombed or live without food and shelter, or to live in terror. I pray that I may never doubt that a small group of committed individuals can change the world, and in fact it’s the only thing that ever has, and that I can act in the knowledge that what we allow to happen to any of us will inevitably be inflicted on the rest of us.

A somewhat long post about two days of Quaker Ministry.

Yesterday at my in-person Meeting we had three messages all on the theme of being present, and the difference between appearing present to receive guests or messages and actually being present. The first was a personal anecdote, the next two quoted biblical passages/stories - once the story of Abraham and Sarah receiving guests, and the second “Let Those Who Have Ears, Let Them Here”. This morning, I attended Woodbroke’s Monday morning worship, and there was a collection of messages related to service, and the need to be able to receive as well as to give service.

I’m grateful for both sets of messages. As I said in my Meeting afterwards, “today the vocal ministry was definitely intended for me.” I have not been present recently, I have been tied up with worry and frustration, in ways that aren’t helpful and make me less able to be present as a parent, partner, or friend.

There are a few things I want to notice, and think about more.

In both cases, I, specifically, did need to hear those messages. The Good News (Gospel!) of Quaker Ministry - that in all of us is the gift and responsibility of Ministry, and that there is one who speaks to our condition, has again been borne out experimentally in my life. I hope and pray that more people may learn this good news.

There’s something different about receiving a message that’s a personal anecdote, versus a message that’s grounded in a more universal text. I have to do more thinking about this, but the reminder that “some have entertained angels unawares” applies both to people and to ideas, and that the appearance of an open front door with no one home connects directly to that letter, and the older story, carries different resonances than the anecdote of the person with a broken arm needing to both ask for help and also gratefully accept it when it was offered. I appreciate the resonances between individual experience and broader spiritual messages, and I worry about Ministry that contains only one or the other.

I need to actually sit with the Ministry I received this week. How do I break out of my own anxiety in order to be present and a humble learner?

I wish that this good news, and the sudden inbreaking of spirit that speaks directly to our condition, was better known in the wider world. Quakers should be evangelizing! (See also the faithful waiting of the Sabbathday Lake Shakers)

It’s hard to have that universal connection, since there’s an assumed common framework of of passages and verses that people will know. I don’t recognize quotes from Hebrews unless they’re pointed out, though I do know enough of the biblical stories to know about Abraham and Sarah entertaining visitors and hearing the news of a child. I know that “Let Those Who Have Ears Let Them Hear” relates to a parable, but I couldn’t tell you which one or why it’s important it’s there. I’m not sure if I were to talk about “we are all humble learners in the school of Christ” how many people in my Meeting would recognize it as one of our Yearly Meeting’s Advices. I wonder about whether we’re “losing” that (probably) and both whether it’s a problem (both messages yesterday included some explanation of the source of the quote), and if so, whether there’s a way to do enough scaffolding to help it be better. (And now I’m wondering how many links I should have in this post. There’s probably a half-dozen more I could add. Would more references to the allusions I’m making help?)

(As an aside, I think about the letter from the elders at Balby here, and the final passage about “these things we do lay upon you as a rule” being often quoted, but not the many not-a-rules laid out above that conclusion)

One thing about quotes is that sometimes they get jumbled. There are multiple yearly meetings with different advices beginning with “take heed, dear Friends, to the promptings of love and truth in your hearts”, and when I hear about “we all”, I don’t jump immediately to humble learners, since one of my mom’s favorite quotes was about how we all have sinned and fallen short … a great reminder of forgiveness!

I’ll leave you with an afterword from today’s message, which will be my next passage to memorize - Milton’s Sonnet 19. “They also serve, who only stand and wait”

“Trust that the Inner Light can lead us beyond our individual perceptions and desires into action grounded in God’s truth.” NEYM Advices & Queries number 7 #Quaker

Sometime in the late 19th Century, a pair of Quaker missionaries from South China, Maine, traveled in the Ottoman Empire, including in the Holy Land, and founded (helped to found? I am unclear on the history), a Girls’ School. Ramallah Friends School remains an important institution in Palestine to this day, and Friends in Maine (as far as I know, there is not a monthly meeting in South China, but Vassalboro Monthly Meeting and Vassalboro Quarter both see continuity) continue to see this institution as part of their heritage.

Sometime in the early 20th Century, Friends gathered in Richmond, IN, and formed the Five Years Meeting, later to become Friends United Meeting (FUM) the most Christ-centered or Evangelical of the Big 3 Global Quaker organizations. New England Yearly Meeting was a founding member, and Ramallah Friends School became a part of the mission and ministry of FUM.

Much more recently, in the 21st Century, New England Yearly Meeting found a leading back towards the practice of Eldership, which many American Quakers walked away from during the late 19th Century when Elders were often seen as responsible for policing community behavior. One recent aspect of this revival is that at NEYM Business Meetings, Elders sit on facing seats and hold the Meeting in the Light. Another is the book “An Invitation to Quaker Eldering” which I am reading and may have more to say about later.

Earlier than the rediscovery of Eldering, but still in the 21st Century, FUM established a hostile-to-LGBT-staff policy, which challenged NEYM and other liberal Yearly Meetings that support and are members of FUM. NEYM’s response was (in part) to ask our Presiding Clerk and Board Representatives to engage constructively with FUM, building relationships while expressing our concern.

Elsewhere and recently, in response to various noticings of White Supremacy in the yearly meeting and related institutions, NEYM established a “Noticing Patterns of Oppression and Faithfulness” working group and practice, intended to allow us to better notice the patterns of oppression and faithfulness which often guide us in ways we have difficulty perceiving.

In 2022, at a moment when Friends in New England had recently accomplished one initiative towards Right Relationship with Native Peoples, and were seeking to discern other opportunities, the United States’ first Native American Secretary of the Interior invited groups and institutions who had supported indigenous boarding schools to make an accounting of their actions. 19th C Quakers, including New England Yearly Meeting were at the vanguard of this cataclysm, and NEYM took up the challenge to research and account for our actions.

I am sure there are other strands which led from here to there which I’m unaware of.

While gathered for our 2023 Annual Sessions, a few things happened:

A Friend stepped down from the gathered body to the facing benches to both remove themselves from the discerning body and add to the group of elders facing the body After acknowledging the ongoing work of our archives group, a Friend reminded us that the Quakers who pursued the Indigenous Boarding Schools were gathered in Business Meetings much like ours, seeking to listen to the Spirit as we do, and that for him this was a faith-shaking awareness. Another Friend noticed patterns, specifically who was gathered to make decisions, then and now. My sense (and I look forward to the Minute of our discernment to see how the Clerks captured the sense of the gathered body) is that this complicated without contradicting the faith-shaking-ness Facing a budget shortfall, NEYM elected to zero out our contributions to outside organizations like FUM for a year unless we can fundraise additional money, which will be split between our previous outside contributions and reserves In response to this, we heard a (successful, if maybe not completely) fundraising appeal from at least one person with a historic connection to FUM We also heard an appeal to support an AFSC initiative in Palestine, in which one of the impacted victims was a student at Ramallah Friends School 2023 Business Meeting was full of moments in which seeds had been laid years or decades or centuries before. Some of those moments came to full flower (or close to it) this year. Others were steps along the way as they build. It’s a bit trite to say things like “the past isn’t really past”, but it was powerful to see different kinds of history converging in a few days of eighth month, 2023.

We had a number of messages at meeting today centered around Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul; he leaders me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou prepares a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

There’s a reason this is one of the best-known passages of the Bible, even beyond that being one of the best-known is likely to keep you there. There’s something immediate about that bit about fearing no evil - right here in this moment, there’s the presence of god and if not safety, at least a lack of fear is accessible.

Plus, those green pastures, still waters, paths and valleys and then a feast. I can see and taste and smell the promise of the one who even right now at this moment can speak to my condition.

Now, of course, I also connect to any mention of sheep.

Pickles, one of our wethers, stands near a tree, taking shelter from the heat

And when all my hopes in them and in all men were gone, so that I had nothing outwardly to help me, nor could tell what to do, then, Oh then, I heard a voice which said, ‘There is one, even Christ Jesus, that can speak to thy condition,’ and when I heard it my heart did leap for joy. Then the Lord did let me see why there was none upon the earth that could speak to my condition, namely, that I might give him all the glory; for all are concluded under sin, and shut up in unbelief as I had been, that Jesus Christ might have the pre-eminence, who enlightens, and gives grace, and faith, and power. Thus, when God doth work who shall [hinder] it? And this I knew experimentally.

George Fox, 1647, via The New England Yearly Meeting (NEYM) [Book of Faith and Practice](https://neym.org/faith-and-practice/illustrative-experiences) (emphases mine, as they speak to me now)

It’s kinda boring and navel-gazey to spend a lot of time on exactly “what is this thing I’m interested in and why”, so I’m going to mostly try to avoid that, but at the same time at some point I’ll want to touch on things like the importance of experimental/experiential faith, so let’s get some basics out there.

I’m a [Member] (https://www.concordfriendsmeeting.org/2018-07-08_CMM_Minutes) of the Concord Monthly Meeting of the Religious Society of the Friends of Truth (Quakers). By virtue of this membership I’m also a member of Dover Quarter (which isn’t particularly active), New England Yearly Meeting (which is more so, and whose annual sessions I plan to attend). NEYM is affiliated with (and a founding organization of, I think) both Friends United Meeting (FUM) and Friends General Conference (FGC). As are most Monthly Meetings in NEYM, Concord Meeting is a liberal unprogrammed Meeting, which is to say that we gather in silence for our worship (although we sing hymns before worship starts), unless someone is led to stand and speak an un-prepared message, and also while some people are Christian and use the language of Christ and the Bible, many aren’t and don’t.

There’s both a lot in the above paragraph, and also almost nothing relevant to people who aren’t already generally familiar with Quakers. Another thing I might say is that most Sundays I take my kids to worship and they have “First-Day School” which sometimes is stories from the Bible and often is stories about good people, plus a lot of exercises in centering and listening to yourself in the stillness, and some snacks and juice, and while they’re doing that, I sit with about 10-15 other people in silence for an hour, except that sometimes one of us gets up to speak. Since the pandemic, we’ve had participation via Zoom, which I appreciate.

Another thing I might say is that I’ve felt the presence of God. I’ve experienced the certainty of that presence. I’ve heard a divine message from other Quakers. I’ve given verbal ministry in my Meeting and experienced the truth that this was a divine message. Having experienced that divine presence, how could I do other than continue to attend and try to live into that Love.

None of those explanations are complete or sufficient, but they all capture something. As does George Fox (generally acknowledged as the founder of Quakerism)’s most famous quote about where the origin of Quakerism came from, quoted above.

(Fox would probably not have liked me or wanted to welcome me into his Society - he cared a lot more about the Bible and Christianity than I do. I’m OK with this, mostly.)